Divorce and Post-Divorce Mediation

Divorce Mediation

When divorce is unavoidable, and divorce mediation is deemed appropriate, I can help you end your marriage peacefully, fairly, and affordably.

Mediation is a voluntary, cooperative process of dispute resolution in which one or more impartial third parties intervenes in a conflict with the consent of the participants to assist them in negotiating a consensual and informed agreement.

I am a professionally trained Divorce Mediator and have substantial experience in dispute resolution; addressing the many financial, familial, and practical dilemmas presented by divorce. As a clinical social worker, I also understand and know how to work through the underlying psychological dynamics that get in a couple's way when trying to resolve these issues.

Divorce can be one of the most stressful and emotionally draining events in your life. It wears on you both emotionally and financially, often times leaving you feeling completely debilitated. Yet during this process you will be called upon to make major decisions that will impact the rest of your life.

When a couple engages separate attorneys, the process naturally pits one party against the other in a win or lose situation. This encourages a negative outcome for the entire family both emotionally, and financially. Worse yet is when you, your spouse and the attorneys involved, cannot come to an agreement, and the terms of your divorce are left up to a Judge who only hears a small part of the story, and is a complete stranger to you and your family.

Rather than gambling with your future at great emotional and financial cost, why not take responsibility for your life, respect the spouse you once cared enough for to commit yourself to, and honor the value you place on your children's well being, by sitting down and developing a good "parenting-partnership", and rationally figuring out what will work best for the entire family.

If you and your spouse:

  • get along well enough that both of you believe the other can be open and honest during the mediation process,
  • are both completely informed as to your financial picture,
  • have relatively equal bargaining power,
then divorce mediation may be a viable and wise choice for you.

Is Divorce Mediation Marriage Counseling?

No, divorce mediation is not marriage counseling, all parties accept that the marriage is over. Mediation is a forward-looking process that allows participants to define and clarify issues, reduce obstacles to communication, and explore possible solutions. It is a process that utilizes skills that discourage destructive anger and encourage communication, cooperation and negotiation. The decision-making authority rests with the participants themselves. They are encouraged to work together to solve their problems and to reach a win/win agreement - one that both sides can live with in the long term.

Research has found that when agreements are made this way -- based upon participants having actively resolved their own conflict -- participant satisfaction, likelihood of compliance, and individual's self-esteem is greatly elevated.

What Does A Divorce Mediator Actually Do?

The Mediators role is to:

  • ensure that parties reach agreement in a voluntarily and informed manner, and not as a result of coercion or intimidation, depression, emotional fatigue, or exhausted resignation;
  • assist each party without favoring the interests of either, or a particular end result;
  • represent the well-being of the entire family;
  • insure that the integrity of the process is not misused.

As your Divorce Mediator

  • I will cover ALL issues with you that need to be part of your final legal agreement.
  • I will not dispense legal advice, as I am not an attorney.
  • I will make suggestions when you have no solution, and help you think of alternative solutions to consider for resolving your conflicts.
  • I will draft a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), based on the decisions you have jointly made that becomes binding when an attorney drafts these terms into your legal separation or divorce document.

Either party can end the process at any time, for any reason, and nothing is imposed upon either party.

Can this information be used against me in court?

No. A confidentiality agreement is signed by all parties at the beginning of the process agreeing that none of the information disclosed at the mediation can be used in court, nor can the mediator be called to testify or turn over any records from the mediation, should it end without an agreement.

Post-Divorce Mediation

Post-Divorce Mediation is for couples that have family issues beyond the actual divorce agreement and are unable to resolve them on their own.

For individuals who are returning to mediation, a process that has worked well for them in the past, the process can be a virtual life saver - keeping ex-spouses from sliding backwards into old arguments, and keeping everyone on track and forward focused in resolving the problem at hand.

For those individuals who did not use the mediation process for their divorce agreement, but who now find themselves in need of resolving a family issue and do not want to return to the adversarial, win/lose, expensive, legal route; mediation can be a highly effective process.


© Copyright 2009 Gail Rosen, LCSW. All Rights Reserved.